Ekene Balogun Wants Us to Ask Why.
The Calgary counsellor and author of Internal Bleed looks beneath behaviour to the experiences that shape it.
By Kimberley Dooshima Jev
Someone who once felt safe walking at night might stop going out after an attack. From the outside, we see a change in behaviour. Ekene Balogun wants us to ask what happened before that change.
The Calgary counsellor uses this example to explain the thinking behind her book, Internal Bleed. An experience can leave a wound that shapes how someone moves through life long after the event has passed.
“Whatever we face in life shapes our worldview,” she says.
For Balogun, understanding those experiences is part of making room for healing. Her work with young people, couples and families has made her attentive to the pain that can sit beneath a reaction. She wants people to recognize it in themselves and approach one another with more compassion.
That question has also shaped her career.
Balogun worked in policing in the United Kingdom, where her experience included working with gangs and young offenders. As a mother, she wanted a safer environment for her children. She moved to Canada and continued working with young offenders before building her career in counselling.
She wanted to understand the roots of the behaviour she encountered.
In Canada, she found familiar concerns alongside experiences tied to immigration and displacement. In her work with refugee and asylum-seeking clients, she describes layers of pain that require attention to what a person has lived through.
Her book grew out of listening to stories in her practice. During our conversation, she describes people carrying past wounds into their present relationships. Someone may notice that a partner has become distant, for example, without understanding what is behind that distance.
Balogun wants readers to become more aware of those patterns. The hope is that understanding the wound can help someone begin to address it.
In northeast Calgary, she has also thought carefully about who people meet when they seek support.
At Watered Heart Counselling, Balogun says she deliberately built a team that includes therapists of colour from different backgrounds. She wanted clients to have access to professionals who could understand their cultures as well as their concerns.
“It's nice that people can come and find a place that people look like them,” she says.
Her own experience shows why this matters to her. Balogun says she has encountered racial assumptions from people referred to her, sometimes beginning with her African name.
She also sees reasons for hope. In her practice, she has noticed more people of colour seeking therapy and becoming open to support.
“We're not crazy for needing support,” she says.
Making that support accessible is another part of her work. Balogun is connected with HERConnect, a Calgary initiative supporting Black women and girls. She describes a relationship with Ladies in the Family Foundation that began before her involvement in HERConnect, including work with young people through its cooking program.
She also speaks and delivers training on mental health. First responders are a particular interest because of her own background in policing.
For Balogun, asking what lies beneath a reaction creates an opening. It gives people a chance to understand what they are carrying and to seek help with it. In her book and her Calgary practice, she wants to make that conversation easier to begin.
Finding support in Calgary
Watered Heart Counselling: Learn about the practice, its team and booking options at wateredheartcounselling.com.
HERConnect: Community Connect YYC lists free, culturally sensitive counselling for adults, including African, Caribbean and Black women and newcomers. Review the service listing and confirm eligibility and appointment availability when booking. HERConnect also has separate youth services.
The book: Find Internal Bleed through Watered Heart Counselling’s book page, which links to Amazon.